Amy Gajaria

17 June 2009

Today was an incredible day in one of the clinics that I’ve been working in. An elderly man come in, complaining of chest pain and brought in a copy of his previous EKG. I was involved in trying to read the EKG, and when I looked up from it, I was shocked to see how sad the man looked. Because the conversation between the two was in Hindi, and because there were some significant abnormalities on the EKG, I assumed that the doctor was telling the man that he needed to be hospitalized and that this is what upset him. I later learned that this was only part of the story. The doctor was indeed advising the man to be admitted to hospital, but he wasn’t upset by the diagnosis, but rather by the fact that he was ill and had no one in his life to
take care of him.

Something about this man really broke my heart. He just looked so defeated, and started crying silently in the office. He clearly didn’t have much money, and just sat there for the longest time, tracing his thumb along the desk in front of him, shoulders slumped, lines around his eyes. I eventually had to move my arm from around his shoulders and turn away from because I was close to crying myself.

I don’t know what it was about this man in particular that touched my heart so deeply; I’ve certainly seen some incredibly sad stories over the past few weeks of which this was no exception. Maybe it was that he seemed so fundamentally alone and bewildered by his loneliness.

Maybe it was the way he wanted nothing more from us but company and
compassion. Maybe it was that this country seems so impossible to navigate – even with company and money. In the absence of both of those, I can’t imagine how it would feel.

The man shuffled out of the office when the next patient came in, head down, one foot barely lifting to allow the next to pass. As the door closed behind him, I felt like he was already a ghost, and wished so much that I could have done more for him than simply hold his hand.
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Amy Gajaria has just completed her first year of medical school at the University of Ottawa. She’s set off on a two month journey across Asia, spending one month of that doing a medical elective in traditional medicine in the north of India. Amy has yet to see a deadly animal in India, but will keep her eyes peeled in anticipation.
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Previous Posts

On the Road :: Appreciating the Small Pleasures– a list
On the Road :: Unanticipated Detour - June 12 2009
On the Road :: Waiting for Love - June 10 2009
On the Road :: All Aboard Dehran Dun - June 9 2009
On the Road :: Hello India - June 4 2009